I’ve been eagerly, and somewhat guiltily, following the on-going tragedy of the MMA fighter known as ‘War Machine.” War Machine, née Jon Koppenhaver, has a history of violent assault and recently brutally beat his girlfriend and her friend. This is not the first time he has acted violently outside of the ring. He has served time in prison for violent assaults. At the time of this writing, he is still at large.
One would think it would be easy to find a d-league celebrity like that, but I think there are so many obviously steroid-y jacked-out Jersey Shore types walking around, he might blend in.
I read a bit of WM’s twitter page. Not surprising, he comes across in his old tweets as both incredibly angry and self-pitying. Before this assault he seemed excited and happy to get his brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but then went on for many angry tweets about the UPS man and how he wanted to get someone other than himself to fight him. He’s afraid of going back to jail.
War Machine was furiously angry because he supplements his income by selling a t-shirt that says his catchphrase, “I DO ALPHA MALE SHIT.” Coincidentally, I was thinking about creating a shirt that said, “I DO INDEED SHIT, BECAUSE I EAT A DIET RICH IN FIBER.”
With MMA fighters, let’s say someone like former champions Randy Couture or George St. Pierre, we recognize that the sport is rough, but they as people aren’t actually violent. Much like the NFL and NHL, UFC and Bellator fighters are extremely aggressive, physically intimidating people, but I get the feeling that if I accidentally spilled a diet Dr. Pepper on one of them, they wouldn’t send me to the hospital.
Not so with War Machine. His injured girlfriend, Christy Mack, who at the time of this writing is still in the hospital for multiple serious injuries, is a porn star. War Machine has also appeared in adult films, so he knows that world. He was once invited to a birthday party for one of the performers. War Machine was angry with his agent, things escalate and then he punches his then previous girlfriend, the porn star, Alanah Rae. People tried to stop him, and many people were injured.
Quoting from and a probably Not Safe For Work website, Adult FYI by way of Cage Potato, a site dedicated to MMA.
“War Machine’s own agent, Derek Hay, looked to be the primary target with a couple of shots to the head. Mika Tan’s Ex was KO’d as well & sent to hospital. I never saw anything like it. War Machine was in kill mode. His fists were lethal weapons. Anyone who tried to get between him and Derek got taken down – hard…One guy was clocked and had three teeth knocked out. Another guy — an Asian — had his nose broken.
It seemed that every time someone tried to advise War Machine to mellow out or tried to talk sense to him, they got hit for their efforts. Maybe six guys in all got punched…The incident wound up with War Machine and Derek playing hide and seek with one another around a dumpster. Then at some point, both War Machine and Derek took off when someone threatened to call the cops.”
The reality tv star, Dog the Bounty Hunter, is on the case. War Machine is a very dangerous person, and if he were challenged by someone like DBH, I predict he would erupt into violence, maybe even murder. I’ve never seen Dog the Bounty Hunter’s show, but apparently he’s very good at capturing people, so God’s Speed, “Dog.” If that is your real name.
Dog should be careful. The website Bloody Elbow has uncovered an old tweet from 2009 that says, "When I am ready to die I will kill many and I will then kill myself and I will tape it. It will be rad."
We should take him at his word on this one.
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