Balloon Boy and Mozart.

Remember the “balloon boy”? It was a dumb hoax by a fame-obsessed father who claimed that his child floated away trapped in a helium balloon. It was National Crisis for about a day, and concerned cable news talking heads updated us by the minute. The kids were forced to lie to the Nation, the little brother was actually upstairs in the attic, and I remember one of the kids vomiting during an interview, presumably out of guilt. I love that.

Well, they’re back. My workmate, Kraftwerk, showed me a video this morning of the Balloon Boy family and contemptuously said, “These kids are muggles. They’re American muggles.” A “muggle” is a pejorative word in the Harry Potter Universe that means someone who can’t do magic. It means a “normal” person.

In the video, the trio of long-haired kids, spurned on by their dumb-ass father, made a terrible racket on their guitars. They rode around on dirt bikes. They jumped around their room demonstrating “parkour” which is an urban trend of climbing and leaping on buildings. The tone of the fluff news story was that they were pint-sized heavy metal kids, and isn’t that cute.

“They sound awful. Someone needs to tell them they suck. They’re not even trying. They’re terrible musicians. Their dad is just looking for attention again. Look, even their ‘parkour’ is stupid,” Kraftwerk said.

“They’re children!” I said.

I wouldn’t say the kids were any good at their music, but I wouldn’t call them muggles either.

I often think of the movie ‘Amadeus’ and I think about that main character in terms of my own fears for myself. In the movie, the Court Composer Salieri encounters a young Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Right away, he alone recognizes Mozart’s incomparable genius. Mozart’s writes sublime music effortlessly, as easily as if he were taking dictation of the voice of God. Salieri becomes so resentful at his own mediocrity, that it shatters his soul.

Back to the Harry Potter universe, Salieri might be known as a “Squib.” A squib sees the beauty of the magical world, but they can’t do it. I don’t worry about being a muggle, a normal bland person, but I absolutely do worry about being a squib. Balloon Boy Dad is probably a squib.

When I was in art school, I made straight A’s in all my drawing classes. I had two Mozarts in my classes, a tall surly kid with an absurd mop of hair like a red stalk of broccoli and a Mexican kid I never heard speak English. Those two could draw, effortlessly, like the pencil work of master artist Jean August Dominque Ingre, one of my favorites. I would jealously inspect their work during breaks, me being Court Composer Salieri incarnate. Sadly, I knew then I didn’t have what it takes to be a professional illustrator.

I now realize not everyone is immediately tapped into the divine like Mozart was. Some of us, have to fight for it. Beethoven was not a child prodigy, he was just pretty good, but his tyrannical father made him play. He and Mozart were both ‘Balloon Boys’ of their day, exploited by ambitious fathers, but the difference is that Mozart and Beethoven had immense talent. Beethoven was abused, but this somehow didn’t take away his love of music. There’s a story I like of a young Beethoven playing at a party and Mozart was there, and Mozart stopped his entire entourage to listen to the boy play. Mozart, applauded him and said “You will be great one day.” And he was.

I don’t know if Beethoven became a master because of Mozart’s off-hand praise, but I like to think it helped. I think we are too quick to denounce the efforts people make. Maybe Salieri’s big failure was not as a musician, but not living up to the idea of being a lover and supporter of beauty.

I’m not sure my point, other than God’s Speed Balloon Boy family band! I hope you become great musicians some day, not for your dad’s lust for fame, but for beauty and art’s sake.