Toronto's Mad Hatter Tea Party

This is a fascinating read of a children's birthday party venue called the Mad Hatter. This local Toronto event was run in the 80s entirely without any adult supervision by surly teenagers. From the sound of it, these parties sound like across between a Chuck E Cheese party and the Stanford Prison Experiments.

From the article: “I was desperate to get to a Mad Hatter party. They were legendary: Studio 54 for 12-year-olds.”—Hilary Doyle, 34 

“In retrospect, I can’t believe how totally dangerous they were—the shopping-cart bumper cars. One person would push a shopping cart while another kid sat in it…very treacherous. At my party we just went through a random door—I don’t think we were being supervised by anyone—and we ended up in the mall’s underground parking lot, so we were smashing into each other and smashing into cars.”—Erin Oke

Some of the conditions were so outrageous, that one wonders how this birthday party service managed to not be closed down by multiple lawsuits.

From the article: “We were in cages. It was probably a big room subdivided by plywood walls, but the walls didn’t go all the way to the ceiling and I remember this chicken-wire mesh or something over top. There were these wooden benches that we sat on, and popcorn was strewn all over the ground, which was really sticky. And there was just a tray of hot dogs, like, boiled, with white buns and condiments. We were throwing them around. There was a party of boys next door and they somehow climbed up and they were looking down at our party and yelling obscenities, and, you know, showing us their penises.”—Erin Oke 

“The hot-dog room was my nightmare. There was just a table and they’d throw the food down like we were animals, and then you’d get to throw it at each other. All of the condiments, too. There was no method.”—Miriam Verberg, 34

Here is a message board of Toronto kids, now grown up, who still seem to be asking themselves if this Lord of the Flies of birthday parties was real. They seemed to remember this experience fondly!

This wild behavior reminds me of a documentary put out a few years ago by British television's Channel 4. In the documentary, Boys and Girls Alone, the kids were segregated into two communities by gender. The children were monitored by CCTV, but left to make their own decisions. This probably wasn't a legitimate social "experiment" but exploitation "reality" tv, but the results are still interesting. The boys erupted into violence and wanton destruction and the girls were exceedingly cruel to each other.

Pumpkin Galleries

Here are some fantastic pumpkins, that you dear reader, will never be able to carve. Unless perhaps you have a Fine Arts Degree in Sculpture.

"Girls Can't Resist..."

By day you can wear this "swank tie" and be fashionably attired for home or office. But after dark, this tie starts glowing, and women will be unable resist your charms.

Kick Ass Currency Designs of Yesteryear

The popular website, boingboing.net, pointed these out today.

This currency is part of the 1896 "Education Series."

Costume Deadline Approaching

I haven't thought too hard about my Halloween costume this year. I will probably use an old one that is in the closet. I've been pre-occupied with my year-long magic costumes. I guess my magic costumes will have to do double-duty this year.

Drugging Grandpa

Harvest Home

A Scientific Investigation of Dunking.

Skeptics in our modern age recoil at the idea of testing for witchcraft. We are taught since grade school, that Trials by Ordeal such as dunking accused witches in water to see if they float, are to be dismissed as stupid superstition. But if we are to truly be empiricists, we must approach these claims as scientifically as possible.

I went down to the local New Age bookstore and asked self-professed witches to volunteer for this experiment. If they were really indeed witches, they would float as most witches are not baptized or have renounced their baptism. My offer was refused. An experiment was set up with a small doll-size simulacrum of a witch and dunked into ~475 ml of water. 

As you can see by the preliminary reaction. The small doll rested comfortably on the bottom of the beaker of water. The doll was dressed as a witch, but the preliminary result of this test for witchcraft would have vindicated her as innocent. She did not float at all, as witches must. It is suspected that water is the most pure element, and witches being in communion with Lucifer, and other Agents of Evil, would naturally float away from water.

On the next day of the experiment, I observed massive changes to the doll. The body was distorted and bloated. As unpleasant as it is to contemplate, dead bodies in water become bloated. I thought nothing of it. Again, our "witch" was nothing of the sort.

The following day, my heart sank as the doll continued to grow. I should have ended the demonstration but curious as to the effect, I continued the experiment.

The next day, as the photo shows, her witch hat pokes out of the water. Her feet are barely touching the glass. I fear for my sanity but continue the experiment.

I was shocked to discover this shocking tableau on the final day of the experiment. The witch is no longer floating, and is now commanding my own pet cat. I have always heard stories that witches were able to influence wild beasts. I immediately halted the experiment and took the witch outside. My pet returned to normal.

I conclude that Trial by Dunking is an adequate test of witchcraft, but it must be done over the course of a few days.

She just needs a makeover.

I was intrigued by this sordid story of a young lady who is apparently so addicted to a ubiquitous product, that she broke into and robbed her neighbor's house so she could buy more. I thought what she was looking for was free. I've researched it a few times on the internet and was never asked to pay. I often get emails in my Spam folder encouraging me to indulge in this particular product. 

Many of the comments on The Smoking Gun were about her skin problems. I'm not sure if this acne, or an addiction to meth. Either way, this poor, confused girl is actually pretty.

With just a minimum of a few Photoshop tricks, I was able to reveal her beauty.

My expertise is in automotive advertising. Imagine what an artist from Vogue could really do.

Masked Persona Feedback Loop

Mr. Edison's Anti-Gravitation Under-Clothing