Helpful Tip

For lunch today I went to a "Mongolian Grill" style restaurant. They had installed new high-tech touch screen thing-a-ma-jigs at the table, which would let you instantly order a drink or a brownie sundae, without bothering the wait staff. Real Star Trek kind of stuff. Truly, we live in the future.

When it was time to pay, my elderly Asian waitress decided to help me by showing me how the whole thing worked. I don't think I needed this assistance; I've been to the self-checkout line at the grocery store, but I went along with it.

The touch screen asked, "How Satisfied Were You With This Experience?" 


Our waitress peered over my shoulder, "Put in whatever you want."

Naturally, I punched in, Highly Satisfied. I'm a very good person. Maybe they'll give her a gold star if she collects enough of them.

Then, things got awkward. Our table-side Star Trek tricorder asked, "What Would You Like To Tip?"

As a helpful start, it suggested the exorbitant amount of 20%, and showed what kind of tip that would look like.

Again, my waitress encouraged me to, "Put in whatever you want."

I'm sure it's really hard to work in a restaurant, but after an awkward pause waiting for her to leave, I hit the little less than button, and while I was clicking the button – boop, boop, boop – she stood over my shoulder and watched her tip slowly diminish. Feeling much guilt, I stopped at 16%. I told myself that was still a lot.