Unsolicited Advice (#1 in an ongoing series.)

I've participated in Social Media for some time now, and I've noticed a curious phenomena that you should avoid.

It is perfectly acceptable to submit posts like this:

"DANG! I GOT A SORE THROAT MUST BE TOO MANY TEQUILA SHOTS! PARTY!!! WOOOO! SPRING BREAK 2012, BEE-YOTCHES! LOL!"

It is not okay to do this:  

"Once again, I'm getting sick. My throat hurts. Probably tonsillitis, which is the last thing I need. Not that anyone cares."

After the Sad Sack post, the poster's well-meaning friends immediately swoop down, and being primates, electronically pat-pat them on their head to make the hurt go away.

"Hang in there Gina. I'm thinking of you."

Sore Throat Gina gets a kind of charge out of this. Posting illness updates pays immediate dividends in sympathy, and the electronic equivalent of a hug, but the long term effects are devastating. Sore Throat Gina will start to seek more electronic hugs.

"Went to the doctor. Had to take off work, again. My boss totally berated me for taking off more work. I would get a lawyer, and sue her ass, but the thing is, I need this job. Anyway, the doctor says it's allergies. I absolutely don't have the money for medication. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Hang in there Gina. I'm thinking of you."

Secretly to herself: "Yesss...delicious sympathy. I drink it up like sweet nectar."

I'm not bullshitting to be funny. I've seen people, in as little time as a year, turn into shambling wrecks over stuff like this. They start to crave the attention so much that their immune systems turn off, just so they can stay sick, and keep the spotlight on themselves. I'm not sure if this is the same thing as hypochondria, as Sore Throat Gina-types genuinely do get sick. An emergency room visit is in Sore Throat Gina's immediate future, one that she will tell you, she can't pay for.

Don't be a Sore Throat Gina. It will ruin your health.